David's Friend

Following David’s plan, Jonathan found out that Saul determined to kill David (1 Sam. 20:1-11). Jonathan, David’s faithful companion, loved David as his own. “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Sam. 18:1, ESV; cf. 20:17). This verse describes their friendship. When Jonathan realized that his father determined to kill his best friend, the text says, “He was grieved for David, because his father had disgraced him” (1 Sam. 20:34b, ESV). Jonathan grieved for David and his situation. Jonathan grieved for David in private, not in front of David. He thought about David in such a way that, I believe, Jonathan’s grief for David became a prayer to God for David. In the early formative period of David’s life, Jonathan played a significant part. Eugene Peterson notes:

In the middle of the craziness and madness, the meanness and hate, David experienced a most unusual love in Jonathan’s friendship…Friendship is a much underestimated aspect of spirituality. It’s every bit as significant as prayer and fasting. Like the sacramental use of water and bread and wine, friendship takes what’s common in human experience and turns it into something holy. Friendship with David complicated Jonathan’s life enormously. He risked losing his father’s favor and willingly sacrificed his own royal future. But neither the risk nor the loss deterred him; he became and stayed David’s friend. Jonathan’s friendship was essential to David’s life. It’s highly unlikely that David could have persisted in serving Saul without the friendship of Jonathan. Jonathan, in striking contrast to his father, discerned God in David…Jonathan’s friendship entered David’s soul in a way that Saul’s hatred never did.[1]

What a blessing to David to have someone like Jonathan who grieved for him and remembered him in prayer. Not only did Jonathan help David to escape from Saul in life, but also nurtured the spiritual life of David by being faithful to him and discerning and confirming the calling of God in him.

True friendship is not without cost. Jonathan made sacrifices in this relationship. This friendship complicated Jonathan’s soul. On the one hand, he didn’t want to disobey his father. On the other hand, he loved his friend as his own soul. I can imagine that Jonathan couldn’t sleep for many nights because of the inner tension, even turmoil, within him. Perhaps, the spirituality of Jonathan was shaped by God through this tension. Any close relationship can destroy or edify. It can suffocate both parties without giving enough space to one another. It can also lead us to a higher ground where we can’t reach by ourselves. Jonathan loved David, but he never abandoned Saul. Rather, Jonathan stayed with and fought alongside Saul.

In the story of David, he couldn’t become king without the friendship of Jonathan. Most likely, David would become another Saul in the journey if Jonathan didn’t confirm the life of holiness in David. David lamented for the death of his friend: “I am distressed for you, my brother Jonathan; very pleasant have you been to me; your love to me was extraordinary, surpassing the love of women” (2 Sam. 1:26, ESV).

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[1] Eugene Peterson, Leap Over a Wall: Earthly Spirituality for Everyday Christians (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997), pp. 51-53.