Always On The Run

I've begun to write my spiritual journal since the first day of this year. This is part of what I wrote on Thursday, Jan. 6th.

Thursday, January 6^th

This morning, I was reading 1 Samuel 29 ff.  In chapter 30, David and his men returned home at their town of Ziklag, they found out that their town was destroyed, and their families and all the possessions were captured by the Amalekites. In 30:6, it said, “And David was greatly distressed, for the people spoke of stoning him, because all the people were bitter in soul, each for his sons and daughters. But David strengthened himself in the Lord his God” (ESV).

In the narrative, David is usually described as a calm and capable person. He is “a man of valor, a man of war, prudent in speech, and a man of good presence, and the Lord is with him” (1 Sam. 16:18). But now, during this exilic period, his faith and spirituality were put into a test. In exile David was not in his comfort zone. Rather, he was always on the run. Or I should say that he was forced to be on the run by Saul. He lived with uncertainty and unpredictability. He moved on as if there were no tomorrow. This wilderness period revealed His true character. He was greatly distressed. In our language, "He's stressed out." In 1 Sam. 25, we see that David’s anger almost got him into trouble. Due to Abigail’s wise approach, David’s anger did not lead to David’s sin.

David was “forced” to grow up in exile. He grew up in the Lord. He no longer dealt with others with his fake images. Rather, he dealt with them just as he was, for he had nothing left except himself. In the wilderness, he was "naked." I believe the wilderness was a place—a sanctuary— for David to worship God. It was in the wilderness David learned to pray to God in worship and worship God in prayer. It wasn't that he suddenly loved God so much at that place. Rather, he just recognized that he needed Him at the time. He then continued to develop and nurture that relationship with Him while he was on the run. The recognition of that divine need stirred the inner emptiness of David.

In 1 Sam. 24 and 26, we see that David had two chances to kill Saul, but he didn’t. Why? Eugene Peterson wrote, “The wilderness taught David to see beauty everywhere. The wilderness was David’s school in the preciousness of life; through wilderness-testing David learned to see God in places and things he would never have thought to look previously…The holiness of wilderness had entered David’s soul, and now he saw holiness everywhere, even in Saul” [Leap Over a Wall (New York: HarperSanFrancisco, 1997), pp. 77-78.].  Is it only Peterson’s pure speculation? David saw holiness in the most unholy person, Saul, in the most unholy place, wilderness?

1 and 2 Samuels as one book depicts the outer life of David vividly; the Book of the Psalms gives us an access to the inner sanctuary of David. He prayed, “For the enemy has pursued my soul; he has crushed my life to the ground; he has made me sit in darkness like those long dead. Therefore my spirit faints within me; my heart within me is appalled” (Ps. 143:3-4). David gained his strength from remembering: “I remember the days of old; I meditate on all that you have done; I ponder the work of your hands. I stretch out my hands to you; my soul thirsts for you like a parched land” (Ps. 143:5-6). In times of exile, David knew that he needed to remember, meditate, and ponder. And in the place where it seems to promote God’s absence, David thirsted for His presence.

David was on the run; I am also on the run.