The term relate is paradoxical. It comes from the
Latin word refero. Suffer is derived from a similar Latin
root, suffero. Thus, they share a
common base, fero, “to bear,” to
carry,” “to put up with.” In every genuine relationship, to achieve ultimate
meaning, we must submit to it, undergo it, endure it, suffer with it. We must
return again and again to its nature and its unfolding patterns, carry
something of it with us. We must grapple with the intimacies of relationship,
must surrender to its up and downs, and live with its burdens and stresses. [Being-In, Being-For, Being-With
(Northvale: Jason Aronson Inc., 1995), p. 70.]
To relate is to suffer; to suffer is to bear, to
carry, or to put up with. If we do not want to put up with the problems of
others, we are not relating. We relate with no commitment or a sense of
detachment or live in isolation because we are afraid of suffering. As a
consequence, we stop following. Jesus suffers because he carries the burden of
humanity. In other words, we are called to put up with it. “A disciple is not
above his teacher, nor a servant above his master” (Matt. 10:24 ESV). In
relating, we are following. To avoid suffering, we are not following.
I have pastoral ministry in my mind as I am writing
this. To serve in the church is to put up with the church. To relate to the
church can be a burden and cause stress. As I was reading Ephesians the other
day, I meditated upon the role of the church in God’s overall plan: “So that
through the church the manifold
wisdom of God might now be made known to the rulers and authorities in the
heavenly places….to him be glory in the
church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.
Amen” (Eph. 3:10, 21 ESV, emphasis mine). The visible Christ made the invisible
God visible. The mystery of God is now made known through the body of Christ. The
church does have a strategic, mediatorial role in God’s plan. How do I relate to the church? How do I follow
Christ as a churchman?
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