My Letter 2014
Our
Search
I
was planning to go back to Asia to serve. I contacted a church in Beijing in
Decemeber 2013. In the entire process, there was miscommunication everywhere. Sue
and I waited and prayed for God’s guidance. In the process, I personally
thought that it was a right time for us to move back to Asia. Sue didn’t seem to
agree in her heart. But she followed my pastoral direction in general. The
whole process of contacting the church took about five months. I finally had a
chance to communicate with a deacon and an elder through a conference call in
early May 2014. In our conversation, I realized that the pastoral position was
not a right fit for me. And, most importantly, I sensed that my heart was not
ready for this move.
I
don’t believe in applying multiple churches at the same time. I approach one
church at a time because I don’t think that God has multiple wills for my path.
My job is to seek that one will at the right time and at the right place. How
do I know that is God’s will? No one knows. But time will tell. But the
attitude behind seeking His will should be single-minded and sincere.
I
never thought of going back to New York City and serve. Sue always wanted to be
back because of her mom, for she thought that she hasn’t had a chance to live with
her after school. But I didn’t. Perhaps, I wanted to try something new. God’s
way is higher than my way. We decided to move back to NYC and I will serve at
Oversea Chinese Mission (紐約中華海外宣道會) next year. I have been living in NYC for 20 years,
except for the past 2-3 years. I never thought that I would serve there. I am
amazed by God’s guidance.
My
Pastoral Expeirence in Indinanapolis
I
came to Indiana to begin my doctoral studies in March 2012. Sue came to join me
in July 2012. From July to September 2012, we attended a local church near
where we live. But we thought that it wasn’t a right place for us (I cannot
tolerate people who have no theological training to preach.). At the end of
September, we met a retired pastor who came to this local church to preach. He
shared with us that his church in Indianapolis just started a new Cantonese
ministry. They just had their first service in September. He and his wife
invited us to join and help. We have served there since then. Once I got there,
I started to teach Sunday school in October and formed a discipleship group in
November. In the discipleship group, Sue and I recruited one sister and two
couples. Among the couples, the two husbands weren’t Christians at the time. We
met once a month for about a year. In the process, the two husbands knew the
Christian faith in depth and turned to Christ in God’s time. One got baptized
in December 2013; the other got baptized at a different church in February
2014. On June 21, 2014, the husband who got baptized in February passed away.
From not believing in Christ to resting forever in Christ, God invited me and
Sue to participate in the life of the church through a discipleship group. What
does it mean to be a pastor? What does it mean to grow a church? We are called
to make disciples of all nations until the end of age. The end of age can come
upon each of us in accordance with His sovereign will and plan. His will is to
save us all. Our will is to turn and follow His will.
In
this Cantonese ministry, I preached twelve sermons according to the Book of
Acts. I never preached this book before. I formulated all these sermons from a
missiological perspective. The concept of missiology gives me a lot of insights
to interpret the Book of Acts. Iain Torrence, former president of Princeton
Theological Seminary, once said to a few students (I am one of them) at a lunch
table, “We often pursue academia in school, but why don’t we do it at a local
church?” I still find his saying intriguing. Why separates academic stuff from
the life of the church? Pursuing academic stuff at a local church doesn’t mean
talking abstract concepts to the congregation. Rather, it is about helping the
church to reflect critically on the essence and practice of the church in a
systematic way. Theology is the way we think about God; spirituality is the way
we live with God. Spiritual theology is how to apply the knowledge of God into
the life of the chuch in a way that the Triune God get the glory and we get the
mercy.
My Degree
I started this doctoral program in March, 2012, and
I am planning to finish it in February, 2015. In 2011, I was thinking of
studying Biblical Spirituality. The reason why I was thinking about that is
because I am interested in Christian maturity and growth. Christian brith is
one thing; Christian growth is another. The Bible has a lot to say about this
subject. But many pastors miss it for some reasons. As a consequence, many
congregants suffer from such pastoral ignorance or malpractice. I intended to
study reformed spiritualty (piety) in the theology of John Calvin. Not every
school offers spirituality in their programs. I also looked for other
concentrations, such as systematic theology and missiology, so that I can apply
for more schools. I applied for seven schools in total. However, I only got
accepted by one school, Concordia Theological Semianry. This seminary offers a
Ph.D in Missiology. I took what came. I still take what comes and will come.
In 2011, after I left my previous church, I prayed:
“God, please open a door for me so that I can pursue further study in Christian
theology. I will participate in mission.” The reason why I prayed this paryer
is that my previous ministry tended to be inward-oriented, meaning that I
devoted most of my time to nurture Christians within the church. My datum
behind it is Matt. 28:19-20: “make disciples of all nations.” My pastoral task
is to train Christians to become disciples. I think I did a pretty good job in
terms of making disciples. But what about “of all nations”? That is why I prayed that prayer. God granted
me that prayer. I got into a progam, and it is about mission.
I took a course entitled Philippians: Missional Hermeneutics at Princeton Theological
Seminary in 2006. I didn’t pay much attention to anything that was missional. I
just needed the course to graduate, for my concentration was the New Testament.
Now, I pay attention to anything that is missional. That is how much I have
changed since I enrolled into the doctoral program. “He [Jesus] spoke to them again
and said, ‘Peace be with you. As the Father has sent me, so I send you,’ then
he breathed on them and said to them, ‘Receive the Holy Spirit’” (Jn.
20:21-22). Such a trinitarian sending is so missional that I often missed in my
past Bible reading.
My Prayer
The other day while I was waiting on the line to
get my sandwich at Subway, I read Psalm 43 in The Message. I find my prayer for this year: “Give me your lantern
and compass, give me a map, so I can find my way to the sacred mountain, to the
place of your presence, to enter the place of worhsip, meet my exuberant God,
sing my thanks with a harp, manificent God, my God” (vv. 3-4). The psalmist
prayed to God and his words became God’s Word to God’s people. God heard the
prayer the psalmist prayed; he will hear me when I pray this prayer. In prayer,
I often lack words to express myself. Sometimes, I am tired of myself, for I
keep using the same words to pray. It shows that my prayer life is dry.
Peterson’s translation of Psalm 43:3-4 brings light in my searching.
Our
Home
Sue
and I are in the process of purchasing a condo in Brooklyn, New York. We have
been renting apartments in our entire lives. But now we are about to have our
own apartment. I read Moltmann’s autobiography the other day:
It is not easy
to look back and bring into some kind of order biographical details in a
many-faceted and occasionally chaotic life. After all, it is seldom, and then
only for short stretches of time, that one lives according to plan. Moreover,
no one lives for himself alone. We are also lived through others and are
influenced by things which we never desired. In the 1970s my theological
thinking was expanded by new themes. Long journeys made me aware of the
problems in Korea, South Africa, Latin America, and Romania….Not least, we
bought a house in Tübingen, ending our wanderings through a variety of rented
accommodation. After all, even the people of God who wander in hope do not
always have to dwell only in tents.[1]
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