Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Relational Sin of Omission

I bought a book at a local Christian bookstore last week, Mark and Grace Driscoll, Real Marriage: The Truth about Sex, Friendship and Life Together (Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2012), and finished it today. It is a pretty good book, filled with personal struggles, stories, and biblical principles that help couples deal with their marital issues. It is one of those books that is not stuffed up with theory and principle. Rather, what they say in the book is not without being practiced and constantly attempted. I believe that having a healthy marital relationship is much harder than it is.

We are usually content with being nice to one another in marriage. As long as we are nice to one another and do not argue and fight, we are fine. We are fine with getting along “fine” without tackling with many itchy issues in relationship. We are fine with what happens on the surface. We are satisfied with not making mistakes. Deep down, it could be shallow. We try to stay away from the sin of commission. But we often commit the sin of omission. We don’t do what we are not supposed to do; however, we don’t do what we are supposed to do. We don’t hate; nevertheless, we don’t love. We are together, but we don’t strive for intimacy in our togetherness. We have nothing to do with the sin of commission; we have everything to do with the sin of omission.

Often times, many couples just find a way to co-exist and work together, like paying bills, raising up kids, and helping others. They are co-workers or life partners, but not lovers and friends. They can be nice to each other, but love is missing in this niceness. Love is not making either. Or, love is rarely made. Even verbal intercourse seldom occurs. “Words passed between them with no greater purpose than passing on information and dividing tasks.”[1] A sense of politeness is accompanied with a sense of coldness. Marital responsibility comes along with a sense of bitterness.

“This is my beloved and this is my friend” (Song of Songs 5:16).



[1] Dan B. Allender and Tremper Longman III, Intimate Allies: Rediscovering God’s Design for Marriage and Becoming Soul Mates for Life (Wheaton: Tyndale, 1995), p. 72.

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