We are usually content with being
nice to one another in marriage. As long as we are nice to one another and do
not argue and fight, we are fine. We are fine with getting along “fine” without
tackling with many itchy issues in relationship. We are fine with what happens
on the surface. We are satisfied with not making mistakes. Deep down, it could
be shallow. We try to stay away from the sin of commission. But we often commit
the sin of omission. We don’t do what we are not supposed to do; however, we
don’t do what we are supposed to do. We don’t hate; nevertheless, we don’t
love. We are together, but we don’t strive for intimacy in our togetherness. We
have nothing to do with the sin of commission; we have everything to do with
the sin of omission.
Often times, many couples just find
a way to co-exist and work together, like paying bills, raising up kids, and
helping others. They are co-workers or life partners, but not lovers and
friends. They can be nice to each other, but love is missing in this niceness.
Love is not making either. Or, love is rarely made. Even verbal intercourse
seldom occurs. “Words passed between them with no greater purpose than passing
on information and dividing tasks.”[1]
A sense of politeness is accompanied with a sense of coldness. Marital
responsibility comes along with a sense of bitterness.
“This is my beloved and this is my
friend” (Song of Songs 5:16).
[1] Dan B. Allender and Tremper
Longman III, Intimate Allies:
Rediscovering God’s Design for Marriage and Becoming Soul Mates for Life
(Wheaton: Tyndale, 1995), p. 72.
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